162123

Joke of the Day

"Star Wars (1977): A wounded warrior overcomes severe burn injuries to build a massive empire only to see his estranged son destroy it."

"At this point, the only reason I still get The New Yorker is to impress my mailman."

"Texts son - to come and hand me my drink 5 feet away God he's lazy, took him ten minutes to reply"

"Need wrist jokes My little brother just broke his wrist and we are sitting in the hospital. He requested wrist jokes. Anybody have some?"

"Don't let... ...an extra chromosome get you down."

"Toy idea: Remote control car that you can sit in & control from the inside."

"Name the four seasons Shit, Summer, Shit, Shit"

"PILLOW: Hey, your anniversary is today, go buy her some flowers ME: Wow, thank God for memory foam"

"What do you call an Italian guy with a rubber toe? Roberto"

"All this reddit drama tends to run together on me... Like banksters on a Republican ticket."