161971

Joke of the Day

"? Hey there Delilah, for your word spell Mississippi ""May I have the definition?"" The state siblings can get frisky ? and cousins toooo ?"

"Falling in love is like diving into a tin of marshmallows, then hitting your head on the bottom."

"Mechanical bull rides are a good place to meet someone with busted genitals."

"I called a suicide prevention line. It connected me to a call center in Pakistan. I told them I felt suicidal and they asked if I could drive a truck."

"FUN GAME: when someone tells you the name of their new baby, repeat it back to them, with their surname, and say ""Like the murderer?!"""

"What do you call a cross between Communism and Theocracy? Communionism"

"Checking your phone when someone pulls out their phone is the yawn of our generation."

"How do you kill 20 flies? Slap an african in the face"

"Why are black people so fast? Because all the slow ones are in prison"

"Q: What is printed on the bottom of a bottle in Michigan? (Found on /r/linux) A: Open the other end"