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Joke of the Day

"Last night I lay in bed ...looking up at the beautiful stars shining in the night sky. And I thought to myself... Where the heck is the ceiling?!?"

"A woman dropped a $10 note next to me. I thought, 'What would Jesus do?' I turned it into wine. I bought wine."

"Einstein made a theory about space ...And it was about time too."

"Did you hear that Castro's body double retired? He was tired of playing second Fidel."

"Did you hear about the new condoms for frogs? They're rrrrribbet for her pleasure!"

"You heard about Pluto? That's messed up, right?"

"What's the difference between a nun, and a prostitute in a bathtub? The nun has hope in her soul."

"""Bro, rumor has it ur dads emo now"" ""Emo? Nah yo, EMU"" ""Im confused.."" *A massive bird moonwalks in w/ a #1 Dad shirt* ""Hi confused, Im Dad"""

"Boy: Have u ever been fishing before Girl: Why? Boy: I think we should hook up!"

"I made up a color in my head today. It was a pigment of my imagination."