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Joke of the Day

"How do you climb a triangle? By scalene it"

"I'm hoping someone puts razor blades in my daughter's Halloween candy this year because those things are ridiculously expensive."

"Why do Americans weight lift in tank tops? Because they like to exercise their right to bare arms."

"THE HUMAN BODY 12 Wildly inconsistent design. Leaks fluids. Zero protection from drop damage. Can be killed by bees/peanuts. NOT RECOMMENDED"

"Bad news: I just stepped on the cat. Even worse news: I think I just created a Nicki Minaj song."

"My grandfather was so racist he had a white & white television set."

"An abacus isn't exciting, but it's reliable. You can always count on one."

"My son was upset his personalised number plate name was already taken I'd never seen little YCM-846 so sad before"

"I took the batteries out of my carbon monoxide detector today The loud beeping was giving me a headache and making me feel sick and dizzy."

"In honor of America's upcoming Independence Day, do you know why America spells ""behavior"", ""color"", and ""humor"" the way they do? Because **fuck u**, that's why!"