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Joke of the Day

"What did Peter rabbit say to his girlfriend when they broke up? ""Now you're just some bunny that I used to know."""

"I once had a dog, that no matter what I tried to teach him, he only ever learned the the command ""shake"". He had Barkinson's disease."

"What did the glue taste tester say? Mmmmm."

"A gang of witches broke into a blood bank last night and stole a thousand pints of blood. Police are still hunting for the clots."

"First time I ever saw a dry-erase board I said ""that's remarkable."""

"What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are a dollar-fifty, and deer nuts are under a buck."

"Why are flowers the best test takers? They have all of the anthers."

"For a quiet ride, buckle the empty seatbelt beside a child and tell them not to wake up the ghost."

"I called the rape advice hotline.... .... but they said it was only for victims"

"My mom's favorite part of Mother's Day is describing my birth in detail to an 18 year old waitress who is just there to get our drink order."