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Joke of the Day

"I was dismissed from my responsibilities as church usher because I kept using finger guns to point out available seats. * pew pew *"

"One day a man met three beggars. To the first he gave a dime to the second a dime and to the third a nickel. What time was it? A quarter to three."

"In the future: ""So Zionists tried to take a people's home and said god gave it to them."" ""So what happened?"" ""Apparently god disagreed."""

"this joke has no title What did this joke's mother say to it? ""You're not going anywhere!"" geddit?"

"I'll usually order the chicken sandwich. I like my food to be more cowardly than I am."

"Dear parents who line up 45 minutes early in the school pick-up line, I don't understand."

"Me [31M] and my wife [28F] are having issues with our different needs with sex. We're trying to work out the kinks."

"How many suh dudes does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, it's already lit fam."

"How do we know cats are communists? All they ever say is Mao."

"My Twitter crush is 4,762-timing me!"