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Joke of the Day
"Why couldn't the Italian phone salesman open up his shop... He had a Nokia"
Next Joke
"So frustrating when you have to text but you're home so you have to go get in the car and drive all the way to the left lane of the freeway."
"My penis used to be in the Guinness Book of World Records. Then I got kicked out of the library."
"Last night, I dreamt I slept with a co-worker. (sfw) It was just as I imagined...."
"Signs a Woman Likes You: 1. Eye contact 2. Twirls her hair 3. Laughs at your jokes 4. Follows you 5. Keys your car 6. Kills you"
"HEROIC ACT - I stick my head under dressing room doors to tell people they look nice in whatever they are trying on."
"I renamed my toilet form John to Jim the other day- -that way, I can tell people that I wake up and go to the Jim every morning."
"CNN admits to dating Fox News."
"There are so many news articles about gametes nowadays... I guess that goes to prove that sex cells."
"""President Clinton, can you respond to rumors of renewed infidelity?"" The only woman in my life is my darling *squints at notecard* Hitlery"