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Joke of the Day

"We don't have mistletoe at Christmas so we just kiss under the influence."

"Mothers, out of the 300 guys you're friends with on Facebook, I can guarantee not even 1 of them wants to see a picture of your baby."

"How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? One, she just holds the bulb to the socket and waits for the world to revolve around her."

"What do you call a crazy person wearing pantaloons? A pantalunatic."

"I had doubts about buying a big metal cabinet with a locking door for my guns It turned out to be a safe purchase."

"Plastic silverware: because the only thing I hate more than poisoning the environment is washing dishes."

"I wanted to have dinner before 8:30pm. So I told my wife that I absolutely needed it by 7:30pm."

"Wife: ""What are you doing?"" Husband : Nothing. Wife : ""Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour."" Husband : ""I was looking for the expiration date."""

"You're never too old to learn something stupid."

"I tried to help by doing my daughter's hair once and a kind old lady offered her a hot meal and a warm place to sleep."