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Joke of the Day

"Yay! my car has a parking sensor and I didn't know. When I reverse too far it makes a banging, crunching noise."

"Why does Mommy always say no? Well Son, if Mommy said yes all the time you'd have 20 more siblings."

"A chemistry lab is a lot like a party... Some people drop acid while others drop the base."

"Ex-Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher has died following a stroke but why she was following it, nobody knows."

"ELI5: Why do i suck at posting in the right sub?"

"Rose: I'm so cold. Jack: Listen, Rose. You're gonna get out of here, you're gonna go on and- fine, you can have my damn hoodie"

"Sometimes it's too hard to hate everyone all at once, so I hate people in shifts."

"Did you ever hear about the Lucky Charms leprechaun's evil twin? He was tragically malicious."

"Girls: He's cute. He's cute. He's cute. He's cute. Ewww. Guys: Fuckable. Fuckable. Fuckable. Fuckable. Too fat."

"I like my women like I like my coffee. No pubes."