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Joke of the Day

"Me: *[pulls back shower curtain] ""Dinner will be ready in 10 minutes"" Him: ""Who the hell are you and should I be scared?"""

"Sequel series to House M.D. announced Its confirmed name is ""Full House"""

"Good friends are like toasters... If you throw them down the stairs, they probably won't make toast for you anymore."

"What do you call a homosexual on fire that jumps into water? A flameboyant homosexual"

"What did one tampon say to the other? Nothing...They're both stuck up cunts."

"Cooking with Hitler Step 1. Turn on the gas"

"79% of people don't know the opposites of these 6 words. 1. Always 2. Coming 3. From 4. Take 5. Me 6. Down Are YOU the 21%?"

"Was going to go see The Pope the other day but too tired to go... ...you could say that I was too pooped to Pope."

"Q: What's the friendliest school? A: Hi school."

"What does Michael Jackson do when he gets kids to the top of the Empire State building? Tosses them off."