160923

Joke of the Day

"Apple and Fifty Shades of Gray are popular for the same reason ... ... they both offer the fantasy of being dominated by a rich guy, who pushes the boundarys of what you though you were into."

"How do nudists greet each other? With a bare hug."

"What do ""white privilege"" and ""severely mentally handicapped"" have in common? Both terms are almost universally misunderstood by the people to whom they apply."

"What is Michael Bay's favorite phone? Note 7"

"Why doesn't Santa Claus have any children? Because he only comes once a year, and when he does, its down the chimney."

"I just ordered a pair of 24"" socks They're two feet. (this actually happened)"

"A convicted con man was recently found to be impersonating a lawyer in New York City. To which one judge remarked ""I should have suspected he wasn't a lawyer. He was always so punctual and polite."""

"The acronym NASCAR stands for: Non-Athletic Sport Centered Around Rednecks"

"How do you disappoint a Redditor? [removed]"

"*knocks on door* You're too fat. ""Wha--"" You're way too dumb. ""Wait--who.."" Hi, I'm Roy. I sell insecurity systems. You're too poor for one."