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Joke of the Day

"Apple and Fifty Shades of Gray are popular for the same reason ... ... they both offer the fantasy of being dominated by a rich guy, who pushes the boundarys of what you though you were into."

"A Febreze commercial but with pot head teenagers trying not to get busted by their parents that had just walked in the house."

"LOOKING FOR awful pi jokes! Just found out my friend hates them. Please give me your worst pi day/pi jokes!"

"*Pops up from the backseat as you're driving* *Duct tapes your neck to the head rest* Now, why are you telling people I'm crazy?!!"

"What do you call a Grizzly Bear with no teeth? A Gummy Bear!"

"My therapist keeps telling me to stop dating women who believe in the healing powers of crystals and I'm all like, ""Nope."""

"It would be funny if after making love to Jennifer Lawrence she stood up & fired 50 or 60 arrows into my sweaty body."

"Me: I just stepped in dog shit, isn't that weird? Her: Not really Me: Ok, what if I told you I knew it was there?"

"Whats the most unlikely line to read in the bible ? The characters in this book are entirely fictional."

"Before arbys gets sucked into the sun with the rest of the earth and everything you've ever known or loved, please come eat some of our crap"