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Joke of the Day

"I'll agree to almost anything if you set a cupcake in front of me. I won't be listening. Because...cupcake."

"Did you hear that archaeologists discovered an unusual ancient Egyptian tomb recently? The body was preserved with chocolate and nuts. Experts believe it to be the tomb of Pharaoh Roche!"

"A man runs over his wife. Whose fault is it? The man, he shouldn't be driving in the kitchen."

"Who'll handle the Guantanamo closing? Same guys who did Circuit City?"

"Whoever just called my mom 3 minutes after she called me You are a God!"

"Where do they weigh whales? At the whale weigh station of course."

"My 3yo: Help I dropped a coin in the toilet come and get it out. Me (looks): I can't see anything in there. 3: That's because I flushed."

"How many NRA members does it take to change a lightbulb? More guns."

"I want that ""Damn you are still together?"" Relationship!"

"What did the mathematician do when he was constipated? He worked it out with a pencil"