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Joke of the Day

"Hey thieves, ya know what's easier than avoiding rape in prison? A job."

"I work in a call center and a customer told me this one. A lonely man puts in ad out in the paper looking for a wife. the next day he gets 100 responses all from men saying ""you can have mine"""

"Did you hear about the cannibal who showed up late to the luncheon? They gave him the cold shoulder."

"What's black and screams Stevie wonder answering the iron"

"Wait. Those Nigerian girls are still missing?? What about that really cool hashtag we made? They didn't free them when they saw it??"

"Been going to the gym now for 6 weeks and have noticed some huge improvements. For one, they've fixed the water cooler."

"So a dyslexic guy walks into a bra."

"What a lovely surprise to finally discover how unlonely being alone can be."

"I just heard 2 waiters speaking Chinese and then one said very loudly and clearly, 'MEDALLION' so I think some shits about to go down"

"My girlfriend is like a lawnmower... Everyone is asking to borrow her."