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Joke of the Day

"I just heard 2 waiters speaking Chinese and then one said very loudly and clearly, 'MEDALLION' so I think some shits about to go down"

"""If you get me to the next station I promise I'll never let you fall below half a tank again"" - A Memoir"

"My first original joke. What happens to a black mans hair when it feels nauseous?? It fro's up."

"if you can't handle me at my worst is there another preferably more affordable therapist you can refer me to"

"How do you make an archeologist blush? Give them a dirty tampon and ask what period its from."

"I would've gotten away with it too if it wasn't for that group of sexually repressed potheads who kept talking to their great dane."

"What is brown and sounds like a bell? Dung!"

"What's worse than a worm in your apple? The holocaust. What's worse than that? TWO worms in your apple!"

"If I pour superglue into a non-stick frying pan, somebody is going to be wrong, right?"

"That Awkward Moment That awkward moment when your boobs are bouncing while running..... and you're a boy."