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Joke of the Day

"A German man walks into a bar.. He stops midway, locks eyes with the bartender and announces: ""This is a scheduled stop."""

"Two trucks carrying thesauruses got in a wreck... Onlookers were aghast, amazed, appalled, astonished, astounded, dismayed, offended, shocked, stunned, upset..."

"Why is Patrick so dumb? He's living under a rock."

"I fell face-first in fresh concrete the other day... I wasn't worried though - my mom always said I'd make a good impression."

"What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? A hooker can wash her crack and re-sell it."

"Every woman should have four pets... A mink in her closet, a Jaguar in her garage, a tiger in her bed...and a Jackass to pay for all of it"

"Why couldn't the rainbow trout get on the same level as his father? Because he was too flambouyant."

"What do you call an amish man with his hand up a horse's ass? A mechanic."

"Why Is Chemistry Racist? It's very selective. Edit. My first time making a joke. I know I can't make a joke. This is not directed at anyone."

"I'm a pretty neutral guy. I find it hard to choose sides. I mean, I have an uncle who drives a truck for Pepsi and a cousin who sucks dick for coke."