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Joke of the Day
"Purchased an hourglass for my desk at work to flip when people stop by to make them uncomfortable."
Next Joke
"Why was the snowman smiling? ...he saw a snowblower coming up the street."
"Cute things to call your girlfriend: 1. Sugar 2. Honey 3. Flour 4. Egg 5. 1/2lb butter 6. Stir 7. Pour into pan 8. Preheat to 375"
"Sometimes, you have to realize that some people can stay in your heart, but not in your life."
"Who are the fastest readers in the world? The victims of 9-11 they went through 97 stories in 10 seconds."
"[furiously trying to stir a stick of butter into a glass of milk] ""Don't you wish there was an easier way?"" [cut to carton of butter milk]"
"What is the definition of a good farmer? A man outstanding in his field."
"Why do mermaids wear seashell bras? Because ""B"" shells are to small and ""D"" shells are too big."
"What do cats listen to during their free time? they listen to podcats."
"""It's not you, it's me"" - DiGiorno, to delivery"