160115

Joke of the Day

"Shame to admit, my german grandpa told me this joke How do you calculate the escape route of a jew? Chimney Height * Strength of wind"

"My grandfather died at Auschwitz He got drunk and fell out of a guard tower"

"if anyone tels u ""evryday is a gift, thats why its caled the present"" just say ""evryday begins in sadness, thats why its caled the mourning"""

"What has two wings and a halo? A Chinese man on a phone,""wing, wing, herrooo?"" God I love this joke"

"I was just eating cashews and one of them fell into my bra. Is it still a cashew or is it a chestnut now?"

"I hate when people don't watch where I'm going when I'm walking and texting."

"Out of curiosity, where were you all thinking of moving after you're done destroying the Earth? 'Cause I assume you've thought that through."

"I've discovered my home doesn't have a basement. It was just the estate agent doing that walking down the stairs thing behind the couch"

"Why does vegan cheese taste bad? It hasn't been tested on mice."

"Shakespeare was gay... How else was he so good with his tongue?"