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Joke of the Day

"How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb? Two: One to change it, and the other one to change it back again."

"What is the best tool for getting a handle on your gambling addiction? A vice grip."

"Astrogeologists: do telescope/remote sensing on distant objects. Astrologists: use horoscope/do not remotely make sense/object when dissed."

"Finally listened to the audiobook for ""The Hunger Games"". In my opinion, the book was better."

"Why did the woman fall in love with the surgeon? Because he cauterize."

"Get your shit together,... or you will die, Aria."

"I heard they came out with the new black transformer... His name is Optimus *Crime*"

"It's not called PowerRamble. It's called PowerPoint, so please get to one."

"Enough with the fist bumping. I never understand what is happening. This time I held my hands open because I thought he was giving me M&Ms"

"My home was invaded by gay burglars the other night... ...They came in and rearranged the furniture."