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Joke of the Day

"What's long, hard, and full of seamen? A submarine."

"Why do bears hate shoes so much? They like to run around in their bear feet."

"How did the tree get on to Reddit? It just logged on..."

"In Russia I like my coffee the way I like my women..."

"Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what happened to you?"

"How many golfers does it take to change a light bulb? FORE!"

"I love when I'm walking closely behind a girl and she starts to speed walk away. It's like she knew I wanted to race all along."

"Did you know that a male ejaculates at 27mph? That's why I always get in trouble when I do it in school zones."

"my accountant: look at ur currently monthly budget: RENT: $800 GAS: $200 CHEEZ-ITS: $2,750 me: ur right, i need a cheaper place."

"my daughter has been thrusting her stuffed animals in my face for me to kiss, but I'm being very selective so she learns to have standards"