159849
Joke of the Day
"Why has the ex-NSA contractor not left his house? He's snowed in."
Next Joke
"Felony Insurance, like car insurance but for when you hate someone so much you just have to throw a cinder block through their windshield."
"I left my .door file open for too long. It was a .jar."
"They should make a movie where a guy takes someone's Ph.D. thesis, edits it one paragraph at a time and turns it into a completely new thesis. It should be called Ship of Thesis."
"Accidentally used the elephant emoji so thanks, Apple, for the next five hours of fighting"
"BILLY CORGAN: the world is a vampire ME: wouldn't it explode into flames as soon as the sun hit it then? BILLY: shut up *runs off crying*"
"Why do Jewish people have big noses Because air is free"
"I used to be a gynecologist... But after I started shaking, they wouldn't stop following me home."
"What's the oldest red wine in America? ""Give us back our land!"""
"Washington DC's IQ is the same as the Federal Reserves interest rate Theyre both negative."