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Joke of the Day

"A girl phoned me the other day and said, ""Come on over, there's nobody home."" I went over. Nobody was home."

"Q: what's a biologists definition of a graph A: an animal with a long neck"

"Listen up: I wear the pants in this family. They're a lovely taffeta with a subtle flare to draw attention to my lace-up sandals."

"I told my parents to vote for Trump... So I wouldn't have to take Spanish in high school"

"Similes are like as holes."

"Have you heard a dad joke about dad jokes? I've never meeted an person who had."

"my friends are getting married and i'm here wondering what the diff between a soft taco and a burrito and if i should get both for dinner"

"Irish weather is like a Muslim... Its either Sunni or Shi'ite"

"If winning was easy, losers would do it."

"Whats the difference between risky children and risky lesbians? One runs when they have scissors, the others scissor when they have runs"