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Joke of the Day
"My friend died of autoerotic asphyxiation... The story is a real tearjerker."
Next Joke
"Can't remember the name of that 80's song, huh? You might have Wham!nesia..."
"I'll be over there in a second Just give me a minute"
"My gf said ""tie me up and do what you want"" so I duct taped her to the headboard and went to the bar"
"It is true. Time flies when you are having fun. However it is also true that Time eventually rests on a tree branch and shits on your head."
"*handsome, young man walks up* HYM-Ms. Me-Hold it Jr. Yes, I'm sexy. But young guys aren't my thing. HYM-You've toilet paper on your heel."
"What's easier to pick up, the heavier it gets? Women"
"Women are like helicopters... You know they work and you trust them, but if you make any effort to understand them whatsoever you'd be too terrified to go near them."
"""Describe yourself in three words"" ""Incapable of following basic instructions and cool"""
"""These speakers didn't cost that much so I doubt they will work well"" ""that is a cheap stereotype"""