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Joke of the Day
"Hair is like fitness... If you don't condition, it'll suck (I'm sorry for nothing)"
Next Joke
"They're not all brilliant, but they're all mine. Meaning my tweets, and maybe my kids, whatever."
"If I'm ever in a coma unplug me. Then plug me back in and see if that fixes the problem."
"""Look man, I swear to you, as god as my witness..."" [God appears from behind dumpster] ""I ain't coverin for u anymore Larry, you owe me $30"""
"Roses are red, Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's To get to the other side"
"A movie ticket for baby should cost at least $50."
"My penis has a warning label... It says ""Warning! Choking hazard...small parts."""
"I just named my whiskey ""Titanic"" because it goes down better with ice."
"If you want to look mysterious I would suggest painting your cornea with a sharpie. Always works for me."
"12 of my favorite anti-jokes"