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Joke of the Day

"i look at my phone's 100% battery icon with the same fondness as proud parents watching their children bounce out of bed yelling ""pancakes!"""

"What do Asians do during an erection? They vote"

"*pokes forehead* Is this thing on ?"

"How do you kill 15 flies at once? Slap an African child in the face."

"The 7 Habits of Highly Successful Nun Impersonators"

"Who is the most successful rapist? Django"

"What do you call a hooker fart? A prostitoooooot"

"How to get rid of crabs First, shave off half your pubes. Then light the other half on fire, as they run to the shaved side, stab them with a knife."

"Why did the blonde give up on trying to blow up a car? She burnt her lips on the exhaust pipe"

"A small plane crashed into a cemetery... the forensics found no survivors. They have found 268 bodies by sunset. They will continue searching tomorrow morning..."