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Joke of the Day

"I wanted to smoke a joint at the Mexican border... I wonder why everyone ran away when I asked for papers"

"What is a pirate's favourite letter? He doesn't have one. He's illiterate."

"I don't need pepper spray to stop a mugger, I just open my wallet and blow the dust in their eyes"

"What happens when batman takes viagra? The dark knight rises"

"Face down, Ass up. That's how I like to tie my shoes."

"What's the deal with lampshades? If your gonna turn on a light... Why shade it."

"I use head&shoulders Me: I use head&shoulders frequently Friend: But you dont have dandroof? Me: Exactly!"

"If a website dies on the Internet and no one is there to hear it does it make a sound"

"*Stands at produce aisle *Grabs GIANT zucchini *Holds it high in the air *Yells: Is THIS cucumber big enough for you, honey?!?!?!"

"This is why we're screwed. Quotes in the word of your god."