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Joke of the Day

"If a website dies on the Internet and no one is there to hear it does it make a sound"

"Ray Rice hitting his wife on the elevator... Was wrong on so many levels. And I'll show myself out."

"(Guy who was trapped in a well for 20 years standing in front of the Get Well Soon cards at the pharmacy, frowning)"

"The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it."

"I tripped over some shrooms the other day...Because I didn't see them. It was dark and I was high."

"I just ate four cans of alphabet soup... ...and just had the largest vowel movement ever."

"Why did the hipster burn his tounge on his coffee? Cus he drank it before it was cool..."

"A Muslim walks into a bar An allahu ak-bar."

"Just go ahead and put ""She always had to pee"" on my tombstone, because that's how everyone's going to remember me."

"Jesus walked into a tavern and saw a man who could not walk. He said, ""FRIEND, HAVE YOU BEEN INVOLVED IN AN ACCIDENT AT WORK THAT WASN'T YOUR FAULT?!"""