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Joke of the Day

"Do you know what the best part of wearing a watch is? Time is on your side."

"Where did Julius Caesar keep his armies? In his sleevies."

"Q: How do you get a dog to stop barking in the back seat of a car? - A: Put him in the front seat."

"Two men walk into a bar...... ...the third sees this and ducks."

"How do you stop a nigger from raping a girl? Throw him a basketball"

"Son, I've made some questionable decisions in life & I must go away for awhile to face the consequences. How I tell my 5yo I'm off to poop"

"""Here, throw this away for me."" ~ People who hand out leaflets."

"How do whales type e-mails? With their fish fingers."

"After the news today, I went to a Chinese restaurant and made a special order... Kung Pao."

"If Minnie Driver married Bradley Cooper her name would be oh god I can't even finish this one"