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Joke of the Day

"my computer is organized exactly like my brain, which is to say that I just found a photo of a baby weasel alone in a folder called ""good"""

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"You want to know who never gets checked for their ID? HumIDity."
"Tummy REALLY hurts. I guess that's what I get for being extra careful of diseases! (Coating all foods/drinks in Purell)"
"Mexico doesn't win Olympic medals... ...because all their best runners, jumpers, and swimmers are in the United States."
"What do Hillary Clinton supporters and Eminem have in common? When you tell them that you want to see proof, all they can do is tell you about it!"
"What do a daycare and my basement have in common? Both have a bunch of screaming children in them."
"A Christian, a Muslim and a Jew walk into a bar... What a fine example of an integrated community. ^(Credit: Bernard Righton/John Thomson)"
"You're so poor I saw you kicking a can across the street I asked you what you were doing you said moving."
"Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left him"
"Patient: ""Doctor, my eye hurts when I drink my tea..."" Doctor: ""Well take the spoon out then.."""