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Joke of the Day

"What starts with E, ends with E and has only one letter? An envelope!"

"5yo: OMG I'M STARVING I NEED TO EAT I'M GONNA DIIIIIEE!! *eats 3 fries* 5yo: Can I be done?"

"A construction crew was converting an old road near a chicken coupe back to farmland... Comedians slaughtered the construction crew, and the jokes continued."

"What's the etiquette on petting a baby that's been leashed to the bike rail outside Starbucks?"

"if you just show up to a delivery room in scrubs and carry a videocamera you can usually film like 7 or 8 births before they throw you out"

"My friend and I went to a guitar clinic recently. He really seemed to be into it. I guess it struck a chord with him."

"I hate three things in this world: math"

"A Hydrogen atom suddenly exclaimed: ""I think I just lost my electron!"" ""Are you sure?"" Asked its friend, ""Yes"" replied the first, ""I'm positive."""

"Following my vasectomy my urologist told me to return with a sample after I had ejaculated 40 times Ok Doc. See you tomorrow morning!"

"Did you know I am part of the 1% of Rare, Beautiful, handsome and modest people!"