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Joke of the Day

"A prisoner convicted of beastiality has escaped. Recent reports confirm he's on the lamb."

"What does rock music and my grandpa have in common? The Strokes"

"Why was Piglet in the bathroom? He was looking for Pooh."

"My wife is like a hurricane... At the beginning there was a lot of blowing and sucking, and in the end I lost my house."

"A boy said to his father one day, ""Dad, when I grow up I want to be a musician."" His father responded, ""I'm sorry, son, you can't have it both ways."""

"[guy next to me at urinal] ""Is that a 5 or 6?"" ...about 5-1/2 I guess. ""Really? (looks at iPhone on my hip) Can I see it?"" *zips up* No."

"Don't judge a German tourist until you've walked a mile in his socks/sandals combo."

"I hate how people treat amputees differently. Just because they're missing a limb or two doesn't make them any less of a person."

"Why'd the blonde snort a line of Splenda? She thought it was diet coke"

"Overheard from a 14 year old: Why does Donald Trump watch the Olympics? To see how high Mexicans can pole vault"