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Joke of the Day

"I hate it when I'm at someone's house and they ask stupid questions like ""Who are you?"" and ""Is that a gun?"""

"What keyboard shortcut do the elderly have the most trouble with? Ctrl+P"

"I wanted to bake a cake from scratch, but I'm out of scratch."

"If video games were really bad for you, then the entire Pac-man generation would be eating pills and running away from their problems Oh wait."

"I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot."

"I just bought a pair of glasses from Zenni Optical. 20/20 would buy again."

"What does the high elves call Gandalf? Methrandir"

"Online dates are like recipes... they never look like the picture."

"Since women are always looking for ways to accentuate their boobs... I'm creating a new line of shirts with attached seat belts."

"Why does frost not like to lay out in the sun? -It burns too easily"