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Joke of the Day
"Wanna hear a joke about reddit and clickbait?"
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"What's the difference between a lobster with implants and an old, dirty bus stop? One's a busty crustacean and one's a crusty bus station."
"Why don't cannibals eat comedians? They taste funny."
"What is Donald Trump's favorite flavor of ice cream? Definitely not Chocolate"
"ME: i'd like to get rid of all this PERSONAL TRAINER: you're just making like one sweeping gesture around your entire body ME: and my head"
"How many Nice Guys does it take to change a light bulb? None, they just complement the bulb and get pissed that it won't screw"
"""Now That's What I Call Soup!"" - Guy who came up with the name Now That's What I Call Music looking at yogurt"
"Wife: I told you to slow down. Cop: License & registration, please. Wife (opens glovebox): Divorce papers? Me: Look underneath them."
"When I was young, I played the triangle in a reggae band. I just used to stand at the back 'n' ting."
"What's the difference between my job and my wife? My job will still suck after 5 years"