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Joke of the Day

"Talk to your kids about drugs. Learn which drugs are cool rn. You don't wanna be a nerd parent"

"I was in an Arby's bathroom taking a leak and the urinal cake fell to the floor but it was there for less than 5 seconds so I still ate it."

"What do you call a sick dictator? Kim Jong-ILL . . . . . Ill show myshelf out..."

"Are security guards at Samsung stores called Guardians of the Galaxy?"

"From my girlfriend's boss: What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW? The porcupine has pricks on the outside."

"Did you hear about corduroy pillows??? They're making headlines!"

"Accidentally got a ""male"" order bride and I was gonna return him but Sergei is just so good with my kids"

"My buddy's a surfer who left Egypt because his strict Christian family was always hovering over him... They were, like, hella Coptic bro."

"Mum: Why does your little brother jump up and down before taking his medicine? Boy: Because he read the label and it said 'shake well before using.'"

"What US state has the most cows? Moosouri!"