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Joke of the Day

"A couple's having breakfast. He says, ""Were you faking it last night?"" She says, ""No, I was really asleep."""

"Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon? There was no atmosphere"

"Don't date a man expecting to change him. At the end of the day he'll still be a man, and you'll have wasted your black candles and a goat."

"""I am"" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that ""I do"" is the longest sentence? Holy shit this blew up"

"A proctologist quit his job.. He was tired of being the butt of the joke."

"Carrot Top's hair should be green. Either that, or I don't understand the anatomy of a carrot as fully as I think I do."

"Remember when you were a kid and used to blow bubbles? He was askin' about you the other day."

"Son: Daddy, what's it like to have the most awesome son in the world ? Father: I don't know, ask your grandfather."

"What did the ireshmen say to the beer ? I love you....."

"Do you know why... ...they bury lawyers 10 feet under, instead of the usual 6 feet under? Because ""deep down"" they're good people."