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Joke of the Day

"What type of memory card is always laughing? The XD card."

"One Scot came back from work earlier then usual and saw plumber's car in the front of the house. - Oh my God I hope it is her lover."

"Just listened to a conversation between 3 people under 18 and now I don't know how my Mom or a stranger didn't murder me as a teenager."

"I love watching kids running in the park... They have no idea I'm shooting blanks"

"I'm proud of anyone who has quit doing drugs and alcohol, I don't want to hang out with you now but I'm still proud..."

"It doesn't matter where you are, an old lady is about to be in your way."

"""ARGHH A HOUSE SPIDER"" [spider removes earbuds] ""yah actually im more into ambient trance but whatever"""

"Yo Mama so fat she gives herself group hugs!"

"Why do cemeteries have fences around them? Because people are dying to get in."

"I went to get a physical and the doctor told me I need to stop masturbating... I said, ""why?"" He said, ""Because I am giving you a physical!"""