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Joke of the Day

"My roommate was complaining to me that his favorite P!nk song never came on the radio. And i was like, ""so what?"" I'll show myself out."

"if it's not a failure it sucks ass"

"Andy Griffith's family are undecided on funeral arrangements. They may cremate, they Mayberry"

"Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread! Now he's toast"

"Thank you for calling the constipation hotline... Please hold."

"Where do you guys stand on the cheese debate? I'm staunchly pro-volone."

"What's the difference between Snow White and the Brazil soccer team? Snow White had the excuse of being asleep when she let seven in."

"Cop (catches me with a bag of marijuana, a dead duck and a dead crow): Sir, what were you doing? Me: Killing two birds while being stoned."

"Bill Cosby runs into a bar one day. He saves it for later."

"Horrible one liner I'm trying to come up with a one liner. Shit."