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Joke of the Day
"Why did mozart kill his chickens? Because they were always saying, ""Bach, Bach, Bach, Bach"""
Next Joke
"Why does a tiger make such a good girlfriend? Because its not a cheetah."
"What do you get if you cross an owl with a donkey? A Wise Ass."
"Everybody laughed at me when I told them I was going to be a comedian. I thought,""Well,that's not bad for a start."""
"Everyone has an annoying friend. If you don't have one, it's probably you."
"Just ran into Bjork walking into her hjotel. Ljoking fjorward to her show at Pitchfjork tjonight (hjoly shit my Icelandic is pjerfect)."
"[Jesus at Last Supper] [holds up bread] This is my body [holds up wine] This is my blood [holds up Instagram pic] This was my breakfast"
"Mommy, I wrote some notes down in my diarrhea. Please let her mean diary. Please let her mean diary. Please let her mean diary."
"I tripped over a bra today I think it was a booby trap"
"The worst thing about being told you got Alzheimer... Is it just doesn't happen the once."