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Joke of the Day

"You know what I love about cafeterias? Everything they serve is an entree. WUBBA LUBBA DUB DUB"

"I used to be a gynecologist... But after I started shaking, they wouldn't stop following me home."

"What is the ghost of an Australians favourite dessert? Boo-meringue"

"I made a shitty voodoo doll, once... ...and all the limbs fell off. Worked out for me, though."

"TIL if you buy the new MacBook Pro There is no escape."

"""Are you sexually ac-"" [my doctor looks up at me] [he marks no]"

"With the PSN down I've had a chance to speak to my children... They seem nice"

"Why do Santa and Mrs. Claus not have any children? ...because Santa comes but once a year"

"There's no 5 second rule at my house. The dog is much quicker than that."

"I like to do the same thing to my girlfriend that I do with my drum set Pretend that I have one"