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Joke of the Day

"A woman speaks to her Jewish son. *Kid is playing in a sandbox* >Mom: Come back here! It's rude to play with the bodies of our ancestors!"

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"What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot"
"Everyone is talking about how good this Mayweather is. I couldn't agree more; it's 75 and not a cloud in the sky."
"Would you like something from my Easter basket? ""Sure!"" ""Here. Have some plastic grass."""
"New phone My sister got an Iphone 5c. I asked if I could C it she said ""No"" so I said SIRI ously"
"A termite walks into a bar... He waits and waits and nobody appears. He turns to a termite next to him and asks him, ""Hey, is the bar tender here?"". The second termite says, ""Yeah. It's okay""."
"Why can't you hear a Pterodactyl go to the toilet? Because the P is silent."
"I cut off He-Man's electricity today. Now I have the power."
"[interview] What's your greatest weakness? ME: Probably avoiding tough questions Can you elaborate on that? ME: Oh hey look at the time!"
"I just read a bumper sticker that said, ""Honk if you love Jesus. Text while driving if you love Satan."" Sent from iPhone."