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Joke of the Day

"7: Its the last week of school so we don't have to go. Can I stay home? Me: Ha! Nice try, kid. Teacher: Its true. Me: Ha! NICE TRY, TEACHER."

"I recently saw a movie about nuts and bolts..... The plot was riveting!"

"I sexually identify with the noble panda; I too have difficulty having sex in a cage surrounded by 800 Chinese people"

"Two blondes walk into a bar. You would think one of them would have seen it."

"Why did Native Americans stop sharing peace-pipes with settlers? They noticed the settlers were always blowing smoke out their ass."

"Robin Hood went to see a doctor... ...he was diagnosed with Menintightis."

"A woman said to her husband: ""Tie me and I'll let do what you want"" Then, he tied her and slept with the maid"

"A good pickup line is ""I have a phone charger."""

"Despite all the hype, it was a mistake hiring a homeless personal trainer. I've been high in tent city training every day, but its not helping with my goals."

"Wife: Valentine's day is right around the corner. Me: No worries, so is Wal-Mart."