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Joke of the Day

"I bought an electric pen the other day ...but my handwriting's still shocking"

"How many weeks are there in a light year?"

"What weebles and wobbles but can't get up? Grandpa having a seizure. Bonus: Statistically speaking, 1 in 5 adult men"

"Why did Cinderella get kicked off the softball team? Because she ran away from the ball!"

"[Shark Tank] an armadillo clock that rolls away so you gotta get up to turn off the alarm Sounds dum- It's called the Alarmadillo OMG SOLD"

"Q: What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? A: Santa stops after three hos."

"The vegetable crisper or as I call it, the cold garbage can."

"Daughter: Dad, can I have some Kit Kat for my snack tonight? Me: Absolutely not D: Why? M: Because I said so D: Because you ate them? M: Yes"

"Microsoft used to make fleshlights then they halted production because everyone kept getting viruses."

"Girls who say, ""a lot of guys are after me"", should keep in mind that low prices always attract many customers."