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Joke of the Day

"How many times do I have to tell you this Mom? I have thousands of fans who need to know my thoughts. So, no I can't take out the garbage."

"How to propose marriage: 1. Drive to bridge 2. Jump off"

"What's the difference between jelly and jam? You can't jelly this dick in your mom's mouth"

"I like my men like I like my coffee... Tall, dark, and fantastic in the morning"

"Why did the worm want to learn kung-fu? so he could flip the bird"

"If you fail to take over a government... You've really screwed the [putsch.](http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/putsch?s=ts)"

"The flying V Why is it when ducks fly in a V one side is longer. More ducks on that side."

"A bunch of toilets were stolen from the police department... They have nothing to go on."

"Why were birth rates low in 1970? You can't get pregnant during '69."

"What famous band sleeps the least? Slipknot"