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Joke of the Day

"They say revolution breeds revolution. Resistance is fertile."

"I got done for shoplifting today. I paid for six cans of Sprite at the self checkout, but when security checked my bag he discovered I'd picked 7 up."

"What is the definition of stalking? When two people takes a long, romantic walk on the beach, but only one of them knows about it"

"How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? Just one. But only if the light bulb really wants to change."

"I'm sorry to hear your uncle was run over by a boat in Venice. My gondolences."

"I dunno who decided on the spelling of bologna, but it's obvious he had no idea how letters work."

"Bill Clinton's real-life aging looks like fake Back to the Future aging."

"Mom I'm running away! No I don't need a jacket! Mom no I'm fine I don't need a jac- mom! No I don't need you to pick me up later mom! MOM!"

"From 3am to 6am this morning I wanted to kill myself, but now I want some French toast. #cravings"

"Why does Star Wars have 100s of people using lasers to fight and literally NOBODY using them to etch cute wooden drink coasters"