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Joke of the Day

"How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? Just one. But only if the light bulb really wants to change."

"If you don't send the person you're stalking a nude photo of yourself, then you're not taking that relationship serious enough!"

"I told this woman that I still had not forgotten how to make a spacerocket. You can not forget what you never learned."

"I've started a charity for donating horchata-flavored espressos to deaf Americans in Thailand. It's called the ""ASL Rice Phuket Allonge"""

"1 in 5 American children are now on food stamps which is why we must cut food stamps to reduce their dependency on food."

"When a Honda Element crashes into another Honda Element it becomes a Honda Compound."

"Doctor Doctor I feel like a racehorse. Take one of these every 4 laps !"

"It's only a problem if others know about it.... *Sweeps problems under rug*"

"How do you make a ghoul float? 1 cup of root beer, 2 scoops of ghoul."

"If an officer... Ever wants you to say the alphabet backwards, just say ""het tebahpla"""