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Joke of the Day

"The bad news is we need to downsize on people named Jeremy, so you're fired. WHAT WAS THE GOOD NEWS? India's tiger population is up 30%!"

"What goes cackle cackle boom? A witch in a minefield."

"All of my passwords are the names of various ""Friends"" characters. Except for Ross. I've never used Ross. Not after what he did to Rachel."

"I hate buying Velcro.. it's such a ripoff!"

"Why won't Derek Zoolander vote for Hillary Clinton? Because he can't turn left."

"""i before me, excepts after we.."" - gollum in elementary school"

"Zoo visitor: What's the new baby hippo's name? Hippopotamus keeper: I don't know he won't tell me."

"How do you tell if you have a high sperm count. She chews before she swallows."

"Police: Viagra on the Rise as Recreational Drug Amongst Urban Youth The Boys in the Hood are always hard."

"Italians and Spaniards are so used to Catholic child abuse... ... That they call the Pope daddy"