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Joke of the Day

"I never had to swim for my life in a shark attack but once I had to doggy-paddle really fast to get out of a pool when it was dessert time."

"Sometimes I see a baby and think ""Aww, I want one!"" Then I find my TV remote in the fridge again and think ""Yeah, maybe I'm not ready."""

"Two muffins were in an oven. One says to the other, ""Damn, it's hot in here."" The other one says, ""Holy shit! A talking muffin!"""

"After the poor quality of the front page lately This new algorithm better be so good I can read about news before it happens"

"Teacher to student: ""Make a sentence using the word ""I"" Student: ""I is.."" Teacher: ""No that is not correct, you should say I am"" Student: ""Ok. I am the ninth letter in the Alphabet""!"

"What has six legs two arms four eyes and a tail? A man holding an aardvark."

"The girl in the car next to me is totally checking me out. I think she likes me. After I'm done picking my nose, I'm gonna smile and wave."

"Hey, did you hear they are opening a new bread store here in town? Just what we kneaded"

"Sometimes I tell my And I laugh at them."

"My Chinese friend got me an iPad for my birthday... Nothing beats a homemade gift!"