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Joke of the Day

"Today is International Women's Day. It was actually supposed to be held yesterday but they took too long to get ready."

"its always terifying when im alone in my apartment and i hear a small child's voice say ""hello"" becuase i dread making smalltalk"

"Whenever a wrong number calls me and hangs up I always call em back and tell them it was their loss because I'm really fun to talk to."

"Q: Where do hamburgers go to dance? A: To a meatball."

"Knock knock, interrupting cat (warning, do NOT tell joke in busy public areas) Knock knock Who's there? Interrupting cat Interrupting ca... MMEEAAOOWW"

"UKIP get their jokes from Mock the Week. 'Things you wouldn't hear in a weather forecast', December 2011 ""Tonight, a hurricane will be caused by low pressure and God's hatred of homosexuality..."""

"I moved to the south, people are different here. I started a conversation with a midget, but had to walk away. He was a little racist."

"Imagine the PR nightmare if one of these pardoned turkeys goes on a killing spree."

"LIFE LESSON: Never do anything which you don't want to explain to the Paramedics."

"A blonde walks into a bar... Ouch."