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Joke of the Day

"What do you call 717 dead Hajj pilgrims? A good start. My grandfather died making the Hajj; he fell out of a guard tower. Where do Black Muslims go? The back of the stampede!"

"I popped my dad's viagra now I'm hard as a motherfucker"

"A horse walks into a bar, orders a beer. The bartender says, ""Why the long face?"" And the horse answers, ""They've started a round of layoffs at the plant."""

"Doctor: You have two months to live. Patient: But doctor, I won't be able to pay your bill in that time! Doctor: Ok, you have three months to live."

"A religious American just went on a killing spree with out killing anyone. Talk about a bad AIMish"

"How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Only two, but I don't know how they get in there."

"What did the judge say when a skunk entered the courtroom? Answer: Odor Odor in the court!!!"

"Thought of this joke in a dream. What did one tectonic plate say to the other tectonic plate? ""Bro, do you even shift?"""

"What's the difference between Australia and yogurt? At least if you leave yogurt alone for a while it develops a culture."

"I pick up my girlfriend at my her parent's house Her parents: She can eat anything except nuts, she is allergic to nuts. I reply, ""that may have ruined my plans for the evening"""