158519

Joke of the Day

"What do you call 717 dead Hajj pilgrims? A good start. My grandfather died making the Hajj; he fell out of a guard tower. Where do Black Muslims go? The back of the stampede!"

"GOLFER: what r u thinkin ME (caddying): honestly sometimes i wake up & am mad that im not dead GOLFER: jesus. i meant what club should i use"

"How many surrealists does it take to screw in a fish? Lightbulb."

"What is an astronaut's favorite key on a computer keyboard? The space bar."

"NSFW What's the difference between foreplay and KFC? Once you're finished with the breasts and thighs, you're left with a greasy box to put your bone in."

"*points to refrigerator* That makes things cold *points to stove* That makes things hot *points to self* That makes things awkward"

"Shout out to whoever invented Braille! Maybe nobody remembers your name but you came up with a pretty dope way for blind people to read"

"Why are octopuses so dangerous? Because they TENTACLE."

"Hey girl, is your dad a plumber? Because I wanna shit in your mouth."

"What do you call a boat whose captain has no idea what he's doing and works for free? The Internship"