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Joke of the Day
"Why are asprins white? Because they work."
Next Joke
"How long are you supposed to chase someone after your wallet gets stolen? Because I'm tired of running and he's catching up...."
"Did you hear about the legless man who got his wheelchair taken away? He was floored."
"My niece just yelled ""MY DINNER IS BETTER THAN YOUR DINNER"" so I looked over and she was eating doritos with a fork"
"Came up with this when I was 8, have mercy. What do you call a crazy person on the moon? A lunartic."
"Santa got stuck in the chimney. So I grabbed the nearest lube & rubbed him down. Then he REALLY came down the chimney!!"
"What idiot called it an auction instead of serious bidness?"
"Approach a woman in a bar and whisper ""Hey, wanna get out of here?"" If she says yes, you can sit where she was."
"How to make your dreams come true? Have a Stage 4 Cancer"
"I just got rear ended... ...and as I got out of the car, without even realizing how funny it was, I said ""That's a pain in the ass"" True story."