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Joke of the Day

"I just spent ten minutes waving back to a guy in a storefront window before I realized he was just cleaning the glass."

"Why don't seagulls fly by the bay? Because then they'd be bagels"

"How excited are you, on a scale from 1 to white woman who just found out that this dinner party has sangria?"

"Why can't you fool an aborted baby? Because he wasn't born yesterday"

"What do you call a man under a pile of leaves? - Russell. What do you call a man under a pile of leaves for thousands of years? Pete."

"Teacher: What family does the octopus belong to? Pupil: Nobody I know!"

"Hey baby, if I were a gorilla exhibit I'd let you drop a kid in me."

"I will always remember what my grandfather said to me right before he kicked the bucket. He said, ""How far do you think I can kick this bucket?"""

"What animal would you most like to be on a cold day? A little otter"

"You treat me I treat you You heard the saying, treat people the way you want to be treated, we'll I say I will treat you the way you treat me! And that is real."